190. The Six Second Kiss
When I worked with Marriage Coach Maggie Reyes a few years ago, she taught me a Gottman Institute tool called the six second kiss.
Going into that coaching package, I knew that Alex and I loved each other very much.
So much was going right in our relationship.
But, like a lot of long term couples, we'd also experienced a slow down in physical intimacy.
And I wanted to see if we could reignite the flames.
The six second kiss was one of the single most powerful tools for us in doing that.
Catch this week's full episode to learn more about the six second kiss and how you can start using it today!
Want customized support creating your wildly delicious life? Let’s hop on a free consultation call.
I’ll help you understand the blockers you’re facing and how to handle them moving forward. And I’ll share how a three-month 1:1 coaching package could supercharge your progress as well as your satisfaction.
WHAT YOU’LL LEARN FROM THIS EPISODE:
What the six second kiss is & how to do it.
What shifts and results my relationship has experience from this tool.
Answers to frequently asked questions about this tool.
LISTEN TO THE FULL EPISODE:
FEATURED ON THE SHOW:
If you’re enjoying the show, please leave me a rating and review on Apple Podcasts.
Feel free to ask me any questions over on Instagram. I love hearing from listeners.
If there are topics you want me to talk about on the podcast, feel free to write in and let me know by clicking here!
FULL EPISODE TRANSCRIPT:
This week we’re talking about the six-second kiss.
The Satisfied AF podcast is the place to learn how to create a life and career that’s wildly delicious. Want a steamier sex life? We’ve got you. Want a more satisfying career? We’ll cover that too. And you can be sure we’ll spend lots of time talking about how to build connected, fun relationships that can handle life’s ups and downs. No matter what goals you’re working on, this show will help you create a one of a kind life that is just right for you. Join me, life and career coach Kori Linn and each week I’ll give you lots of practical tips, tools, and proven strategies to help you create all the satisfaction your heart desires.
Hello, hello, hello, happy Wednesday. I hope you’re having a glorious week. I’m having an interesting week, I have been called for jury duty. And I got called once when I lived in Seattle, now I’m in Sacramento and it’s a different process here. So it’s interesting because I was called months ago to be on standby for this week. But then the way it works here is the day before you report, you check after 5 PM to find out if you actually have to go in or if you wait.
And so today was the first day, but I didn’t even have to go in, but I don’t know which days this week, if any, I will have to go in. And every time I check, they give me another time to check back. So it’s not my favorite process or my favorite way of doing things. I think there are probably a lot of ways that this could be run that would be more effective and more efficient.
And life is kind of like that too. Like how do we even come up with this system? Who designed it? Why is it this way? How often does it get revamped? Now, I don’t really have any control over how they run jury duty here and what the systems and processes are for that, but I have a lot of control and power over how I run the systems and processes of my life.
And so it got me thinking, you know, kind of dealing with the jury duty thing of like, how often do we do things a certain way just because that’s always the way it’s been done or we used to do it a different way and then there was a problem with it so we developed this way to handle the problem instead of like redesigning the whole system?
Like, I wonder if they used to have everyone report in together and then you had to be on standby at the courthouse. That’s how it was when I went in Seattle. You went and first you were on standby and then they called you by groups and sent you to a room. So on the one hand I’m like, oh, it’s kind of cool that they don’t make me go in for the part where I’m on standby.
But I still think the overall process isn’t great, especially if you’re someone like me where if they tell me to block 10 days, then there’s a lot of things I would normally do in my business that I’m not going to schedule because I don’t want to cancel on people at the last minute or anything. So it’s kind of a big disruption for me.
Does it have to be run this way? Now, again, with jury duty, I don’t have very much control over how they choose to run it. But with my own life, like, when I do my chores or how we load the dishwasher or how my girlfriend and I manage conflict, those are things where I do have a lot of control.
And so I kind of wanted to just mention it to you. Are there any systems or processes that you have in place in your life that really aren’t working for you, but you actually have a lot of control over and you could change how they go? And if you could change anything, what would you want to change? And if you were going to make that change, what would the obstacles be? What would get in the way? What would you need to solve for in order to be able to do it?
In a lot of ways, change is not easy. It’s much easier to stay the same. It’s much easier to keep doing what you’ve been doing, even if it’s less effective, because that’s how it’s been, the habit is already in place. But when you can make a change, sometimes you have to power through a little bit at the beginning to make the change, but then you can have something that makes so much more sense and works so much better for you if you’re willing to put that effort in.
Okay, enough about jury duty. So today we’re talking about the six-second kiss and I’m so excited. And I’ve been thinking a lot about this because I learned about this tool from Maggie Reyes, who’s a marriage coach I worked with a few years ago. And recently I guest coached in Maggie’s program, The Marriage MBA, and I had so much fun.
And Maggie asked me, you know, for the guest coaching to teach a concept at the beginning and I chose to teach about the six-second kiss because I learned it from her and it was such an impactful part of working with her for me. And it’s had a huge impact on my relationship in a wonderful way.
Alex and I have a really incredible relationship and it’s wonderful. I cherish her so much. We are so deeply connected. And there have also been points in that relationship when it was hard or something wasn’t working. And at one of those points, we chose to hire Maggie. So this is personal, but I did ask Alex if I could share about it on the podcast and she said yes.
So one of the reasons why I hired Maggie was because, like a lot of long-time couples, our physical connection had slowed down substantially over the years and that was something I really wanted to work on. I wanted to see if we could reignite those flames and bring more of that sexy, fun energy back into our relationship.
By the time we hired Maggie, a lot of things were actually already going really well in our relationship. I had done a lot of coaching already at that point. We had done some couples therapy. We’d both individually done a lot of therapy also. We had really good communication. We got along really well with each other. So much was going well, but the thing is you can have a life or a relationship or a career where a lot’s going well and there can still be something that you’re like, okay, but I really want this thing. Or like, I really want to turn the volume up on how delicious this can feel.
So that’s where Alex and I were at. So much was going well and there was an opportunity for things to be even more wonderful. And there was sadness, I think, on my part that like we used to have this deeper physical connection and it wasn’t showing up anymore.
So one of the assignments that Maggie gave me, or perhaps it was a tool she taught me, was this concept, this six-second kiss. And it’s exactly what it sounds like, it’s kissing your partner for six full seconds. So the thing about the six-second kiss is if you’re in a relationship, a long-term relationship, probably you kiss your partner all the time.
But what kind of kisses, right? Are they sort of like drive-by kisses? Are they like a quick peck on the mouth, a quick peck on the cheek? Like, oh, I’m running away to go to a meeting. Oh, I’m running away to walk that dog or whatever. Oh, you’re cooking dinner, I’m just going to kind of scoot by and give you a little kiss.
The six-second kiss is a totally different experience. And I think this is really cool because it actually is not a huge time investment. A lot of times if we want to make a big change in our life, it does involve an investment of time, energy, money, resources, right? The six-second kiss doesn’t require that much. It literally just requires six seconds at a time. But the impacts, y’all.
So I will say I learned this from Maggie Reyes, but this tool comes from the Gottman Institute. Doctors John and Julie Gottman are relationship researchers and I think they’re psychologists and they have this whole institute and all these teachings. They have all these books. I’ve read some of their books, and I highly recommend their work. I’ve learned so much from them.
They’re actually the people where I originally learned the idea that conflict can create intimacy, that conflict doesn’t have to be an intimacy destroyer. And that is a central theme in how I think about honesty, relationships, getting along with people, asking for what you want, talking through things that aren’t working, et cetera.
So anyways, they are where this tool originally comes from, although they’re not how I learned about it. So what they talk about, what Maggie talks about and what my experience has been is that the six-second kiss is a way to create deeper intimacy with your partner. The six-second kiss is a way for you to be connected to them, but also to be in your own body, to reconnect to your body, which is where sexual intimacy feelings exist.
So it’s really fascinating because you could hear about this and be like, this is silly. Like why would that do anything at all? But my lived experience has been when I do the six second kiss with Alex, the impacts in my physical body are real and they are noticeable. And it does, it creates sexy feelings.
So a lot of people, when I introduce this idea, like one of my frequently asked questions is like, okay, but isn’t it weird? Or like, how do you do it? Or should you tell your partner first? And so let’s kind of talk through this. For me, I’m very open and very kind of direct. So I was like, oh, Alex, can we do this thing? I learned about it from Maggie, right? And I told her what it was.
But for some of my clients, they don’t want to necessarily tell their partners verbally, like, please kiss me for six seconds for my homework. So sometimes for them, they’ll just try kind of kissing their partner and kind of elongating the kiss or asking if their partner is interested in a longer kiss without kind of being like, this is from doctors John and Julie Gottman and it’s like love and relationship research.
And then other people are like, well, do you count how long? I do count in my head. I go like one, two, three, four, five, six. You could also set a timer. I mean, there’s all kinds of ways to implement this. But I think the thing that people are most surprised about is how much impact in their physical body they can feel that’s different from like a half second kiss that might be the normal that you’re used to versus the six-second kiss.
So six seconds is really interesting because it’s short compared to lots of other things in our lives, but it is long if you have just been doing quick little kisses. And if it feels too long, you can start by just where you are and then like inch up to a longer kiss. As everyone who listens to the podcast knows, I’m a big fan of incremental change. Incremental change is much easier to sustain over time and to become the new habit. But to me, six seconds was a small enough block that I was like, okay, I think we can go all the way to six seconds and we can start with that.
Here’s what’s also interesting, if you want to create more intimacy, more physical connection, more sexy feelings with your partner, you can try the six-second kiss and you can just see what comes up. So something that does happen with some people when they do the six-second kiss is their body will get turned on, but their brain will give them some kind of no signal. Like their body will be like, ooh, yes. But their brain will be like, I don’t want to be ooh yes. I don’t want to be into this.
And then what that alerts us to is that there’s another blocker there that then if you were coaching with me, we would kind of talk through what that is. Like, oh, your body is saying, ooh yes, but your brain is like, ooh no. Why is your brain, ooh no? Like what are your brain’s objections? What are your brain’s concerns? And then that’s going to give us information that we can talk through and figure out what we want to do with it.
Now, there is also the possibility that you’re going to do a six second kiss and your body’s going to give you a no. I have never had that happen personally, and none of my clients have reported that back. But I think that would also be useful information like, this is a tool that’s designed to create more connection. And for a lot of people, the body gives a soothing like, oh yes. And even I like, ooh, something interesting is happening here. I’m getting tingles of arousal, tingles of interest.
If you don’t get that, I think that’s also very interesting information that you could bring to a coaching session, to a therapy session, to your journal to kind of sort through like, where is this a no for me? And why is this a no for me? Do I want to move through this no? Do I want to work through this no so that I could maybe have connection with this person? Or is this an indicator that this relationship is not where I want to be having my yeses, right?
Because sometimes a relationship is at a point where parts of it are working and parts of it aren’t, and we want to work through those. And sometimes a relationship is at a point where parts of it are working and parts of it aren’t, and we want to move on from it, and that’s okay too. Sometimes the most successful thing a relationship can do is end, but you, I think, would be really surprised and I’ve been really surprised by what can be worked through, what you can move on from to then go on and have a sexy, successful, connected, exciting, fun, cozy, delicious relationship.
So the way that I learned about this tool was in the context of having already been in a long-term relationship where there had been some ups and downs and there had been some dips and spikes in physical connection. But I also think this tool is something that’s available at any level of a relationship you’re in.
So if you’re just dating, right? A lot of times when we’re just dating we don’t need any help in the area of physical connection because everything, you know, there’s all the hormones and everything feels like, ooh. But sometimes for some of us, if we’re not very connected to our body or if we’re very nervous or if we haven’t dated in a while, it might feel intimidating or scary.
So this can also be something you could even start doing at the very beginning. Like when you’re just on dates with people or you’re just beginning a relationship, you can try on purpose to add in these six-second kisses and notice how they feel in your body. Notice what comes up.
If you have been in your relationship for a while, if you’re super physically connected, you could still try this just to like, see like, ooh, is this another piece of like super physical connection that would feel really good to both of us? Like maybe you add it in. Nothing has to be wrong for you to add in coaching tools. Sometimes everything’s really good. And then you add in coaching tools and it’s just like sprinkles on the cupcake.
But if you’re in a relationship where there’s been less physical connection than you want, this is also something you can add in to help you get reconnected to your own physical body, get reconnected to your partner, get reconnected to the relationship. So I think there are just a variety of times when this is available. And if you’re single, it’s also something you can think about for if or when you date again.
So to review, this tool is the six-second kiss. It’s exactly what it sounds like, it’s kissing for six seconds. You can do it with just your lips. You can do it with a little tongue if you want to. To me, like sometimes we just do like a little series of kisses. So it’s like kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss. But it’s like the idea that they last, the connection of the mouth on mouth lasts for six seconds. And I think you can really play around with it, have a lot of fun with it.
The impacts and results on my relationship have been huge. And even when I was prepping for coaching in Maggie’s program, and even when I was prepping for doing this podcast I was like, oh yeah, the six-second kiss, I’m going to do more of that. I mean, like a lot of things in life we have our habits, they feel really good. And then sometimes we fall out of them. But every time I remember the six-second kiss, I’m like, oh yeah, let me go do that right away because it has such a big impact on me.
It helps me feel so much more connected to my partner. And sometimes it does lead to sex. It doesn’t always lead to sex. So I think if you want something to be leading to sex, it is a good thing you can throw in there to help you feel more connected in your body, to maybe help you feel more open, to help you feel more interested if that’s what you want.
I like to just throw it in throughout the day. It’s like if I’m going to give Alex a kiss after lunch before we go back to work, it could just be a six-second kiss, even though that’s not a time when we really have the space or interest in going to bed. But sometimes like a six-second kiss had earlier in the day is maybe going to make us be thinking about, do we want to go do that later?
I think it creates more intimacy and more connection, more playfulness and more fun. And when those are high, then it’s also more likely that there’s going to be times when we are going to want to go engage in more activities together. And even if it doesn’t lead to that, I think it creates such a deeper connection, and for me, a deeper sense of satisfaction in the relationship, even if the six-second kiss is just itself without any additional activities.
Okay, y’all, that is the six-second kiss. I’m so excited for what it’s going to do for your relationship and how much it’s going to delight you and connect you to your partner and to your body and to your wildly satisfied life. And if you want to share about your experience, I would love to hear from you. You can email Kori@KoriLinn.com. You can come over to Instagram and send me a DM, tell me all about trying this tool and all the wonderful things it does for your relationship.
And if you want to explore really up-leveling your relationship in whatever way would make it more delicious and satisfying for you, that’s exactly the kind of thing we work on in one-on-one coaching. You can implement the six-second kiss and then we can coach around everything that comes up. Or maybe there are other issues in your relationship that are different than what we talked about today, and I can support you on those as well. I do have room for new one-on-one clients, and I would love to have a conversation with you about what it would be like for us to work together.
Also, I mentioned on this call that I guest coached in my friend and coach Maggie’s program, and if you would love to have me come speak to your group or coach in one of your programs, I would love to hear from you about that. I have so much fun sharing my knowledge and skills and expertise with audiences large and small.
All right, that’s what I have for y’all today. Thank you so much. Have a wonderful week and I’ll talk to you next time.
Thank you for joining me for this week’s episode of Satisfied AF. If you are ready to create a wildly delicious life and have way more fun than you ever thought possible, visit www.korilinn.com to see how I can help. See you next week.
The Satisfied AF podcast is the place to learn how to create a life and career that’s wildly delicious. Want a steamier sex life? We’ve got you. Want a more satisfying career? We’ll cover that too. And you can be sure we’ll spend lots of time talking about how to build connected, fun relationships that can handle life’s ups and downs. No matter what goals you’re working on, this show will help you create a one of a kind life that is just right for you. Join me, life and career coach Kori Linn and each week I’ll give you lots of practical tips, tools, and proven strategies to help you create all the satisfaction your heart desires.
Hello, hello, hello, happy Wednesday. I hope you’re having a glorious week. I’m having an interesting week, I have been called for jury duty. And I got called once when I lived in Seattle, now I’m in Sacramento and it’s a different process here. So it’s interesting because I was called months ago to be on standby for this week. But then the way it works here is the day before you report, you check after 5 PM to find out if you actually have to go in or if you wait.
And so today was the first day, but I didn’t even have to go in, but I don’t know which days this week, if any, I will have to go in. And every time I check, they give me another time to check back. So it’s not my favorite process or my favorite way of doing things. I think there are probably a lot of ways that this could be run that would be more effective and more efficient.
And life is kind of like that too. Like how do we even come up with this system? Who designed it? Why is it this way? How often does it get revamped? Now, I don’t really have any control over how they run jury duty here and what the systems and processes are for that, but I have a lot of control and power over how I run the systems and processes of my life.
And so it got me thinking, you know, kind of dealing with the jury duty thing of like, how often do we do things a certain way just because that’s always the way it’s been done or we used to do it a different way and then there was a problem with it so we developed this way to handle the problem instead of like redesigning the whole system?
Like, I wonder if they used to have everyone report in together and then you had to be on standby at the courthouse. That’s how it was when I went in Seattle. You went and first you were on standby and then they called you by groups and sent you to a room. So on the one hand I’m like, oh, it’s kind of cool that they don’t make me go in for the part where I’m on standby.
But I still think the overall process isn’t great, especially if you’re someone like me where if they tell me to block 10 days, then there’s a lot of things I would normally do in my business that I’m not going to schedule because I don’t want to cancel on people at the last minute or anything. So it’s kind of a big disruption for me.
Does it have to be run this way? Now, again, with jury duty, I don’t have very much control over how they choose to run it. But with my own life, like, when I do my chores or how we load the dishwasher or how my girlfriend and I manage conflict, those are things where I do have a lot of control.
And so I kind of wanted to just mention it to you. Are there any systems or processes that you have in place in your life that really aren’t working for you, but you actually have a lot of control over and you could change how they go? And if you could change anything, what would you want to change? And if you were going to make that change, what would the obstacles be? What would get in the way? What would you need to solve for in order to be able to do it?
In a lot of ways, change is not easy. It’s much easier to stay the same. It’s much easier to keep doing what you’ve been doing, even if it’s less effective, because that’s how it’s been, the habit is already in place. But when you can make a change, sometimes you have to power through a little bit at the beginning to make the change, but then you can have something that makes so much more sense and works so much better for you if you’re willing to put that effort in.
Okay, enough about jury duty. So today we’re talking about the six-second kiss and I’m so excited. And I’ve been thinking a lot about this because I learned about this tool from Maggie Reyes, who’s a marriage coach I worked with a few years ago. And recently I guest coached in Maggie’s program, The Marriage MBA, and I had so much fun.
And Maggie asked me, you know, for the guest coaching to teach a concept at the beginning and I chose to teach about the six-second kiss because I learned it from her and it was such an impactful part of working with her for me. And it’s had a huge impact on my relationship in a wonderful way.
Alex and I have a really incredible relationship and it’s wonderful. I cherish her so much. We are so deeply connected. And there have also been points in that relationship when it was hard or something wasn’t working. And at one of those points, we chose to hire Maggie. So this is personal, but I did ask Alex if I could share about it on the podcast and she said yes.
So one of the reasons why I hired Maggie was because, like a lot of long-time couples, our physical connection had slowed down substantially over the years and that was something I really wanted to work on. I wanted to see if we could reignite those flames and bring more of that sexy, fun energy back into our relationship.
By the time we hired Maggie, a lot of things were actually already going really well in our relationship. I had done a lot of coaching already at that point. We had done some couples therapy. We’d both individually done a lot of therapy also. We had really good communication. We got along really well with each other. So much was going well, but the thing is you can have a life or a relationship or a career where a lot’s going well and there can still be something that you’re like, okay, but I really want this thing. Or like, I really want to turn the volume up on how delicious this can feel.
So that’s where Alex and I were at. So much was going well and there was an opportunity for things to be even more wonderful. And there was sadness, I think, on my part that like we used to have this deeper physical connection and it wasn’t showing up anymore.
So one of the assignments that Maggie gave me, or perhaps it was a tool she taught me, was this concept, this six-second kiss. And it’s exactly what it sounds like, it’s kissing your partner for six full seconds. So the thing about the six-second kiss is if you’re in a relationship, a long-term relationship, probably you kiss your partner all the time.
But what kind of kisses, right? Are they sort of like drive-by kisses? Are they like a quick peck on the mouth, a quick peck on the cheek? Like, oh, I’m running away to go to a meeting. Oh, I’m running away to walk that dog or whatever. Oh, you’re cooking dinner, I’m just going to kind of scoot by and give you a little kiss.
The six-second kiss is a totally different experience. And I think this is really cool because it actually is not a huge time investment. A lot of times if we want to make a big change in our life, it does involve an investment of time, energy, money, resources, right? The six-second kiss doesn’t require that much. It literally just requires six seconds at a time. But the impacts, y’all.
So I will say I learned this from Maggie Reyes, but this tool comes from the Gottman Institute. Doctors John and Julie Gottman are relationship researchers and I think they’re psychologists and they have this whole institute and all these teachings. They have all these books. I’ve read some of their books, and I highly recommend their work. I’ve learned so much from them.
They’re actually the people where I originally learned the idea that conflict can create intimacy, that conflict doesn’t have to be an intimacy destroyer. And that is a central theme in how I think about honesty, relationships, getting along with people, asking for what you want, talking through things that aren’t working, et cetera.
So anyways, they are where this tool originally comes from, although they’re not how I learned about it. So what they talk about, what Maggie talks about and what my experience has been is that the six-second kiss is a way to create deeper intimacy with your partner. The six-second kiss is a way for you to be connected to them, but also to be in your own body, to reconnect to your body, which is where sexual intimacy feelings exist.
So it’s really fascinating because you could hear about this and be like, this is silly. Like why would that do anything at all? But my lived experience has been when I do the six second kiss with Alex, the impacts in my physical body are real and they are noticeable. And it does, it creates sexy feelings.
So a lot of people, when I introduce this idea, like one of my frequently asked questions is like, okay, but isn’t it weird? Or like, how do you do it? Or should you tell your partner first? And so let’s kind of talk through this. For me, I’m very open and very kind of direct. So I was like, oh, Alex, can we do this thing? I learned about it from Maggie, right? And I told her what it was.
But for some of my clients, they don’t want to necessarily tell their partners verbally, like, please kiss me for six seconds for my homework. So sometimes for them, they’ll just try kind of kissing their partner and kind of elongating the kiss or asking if their partner is interested in a longer kiss without kind of being like, this is from doctors John and Julie Gottman and it’s like love and relationship research.
And then other people are like, well, do you count how long? I do count in my head. I go like one, two, three, four, five, six. You could also set a timer. I mean, there’s all kinds of ways to implement this. But I think the thing that people are most surprised about is how much impact in their physical body they can feel that’s different from like a half second kiss that might be the normal that you’re used to versus the six-second kiss.
So six seconds is really interesting because it’s short compared to lots of other things in our lives, but it is long if you have just been doing quick little kisses. And if it feels too long, you can start by just where you are and then like inch up to a longer kiss. As everyone who listens to the podcast knows, I’m a big fan of incremental change. Incremental change is much easier to sustain over time and to become the new habit. But to me, six seconds was a small enough block that I was like, okay, I think we can go all the way to six seconds and we can start with that.
Here’s what’s also interesting, if you want to create more intimacy, more physical connection, more sexy feelings with your partner, you can try the six-second kiss and you can just see what comes up. So something that does happen with some people when they do the six-second kiss is their body will get turned on, but their brain will give them some kind of no signal. Like their body will be like, ooh, yes. But their brain will be like, I don’t want to be ooh yes. I don’t want to be into this.
And then what that alerts us to is that there’s another blocker there that then if you were coaching with me, we would kind of talk through what that is. Like, oh, your body is saying, ooh yes, but your brain is like, ooh no. Why is your brain, ooh no? Like what are your brain’s objections? What are your brain’s concerns? And then that’s going to give us information that we can talk through and figure out what we want to do with it.
Now, there is also the possibility that you’re going to do a six second kiss and your body’s going to give you a no. I have never had that happen personally, and none of my clients have reported that back. But I think that would also be useful information like, this is a tool that’s designed to create more connection. And for a lot of people, the body gives a soothing like, oh yes. And even I like, ooh, something interesting is happening here. I’m getting tingles of arousal, tingles of interest.
If you don’t get that, I think that’s also very interesting information that you could bring to a coaching session, to a therapy session, to your journal to kind of sort through like, where is this a no for me? And why is this a no for me? Do I want to move through this no? Do I want to work through this no so that I could maybe have connection with this person? Or is this an indicator that this relationship is not where I want to be having my yeses, right?
Because sometimes a relationship is at a point where parts of it are working and parts of it aren’t, and we want to work through those. And sometimes a relationship is at a point where parts of it are working and parts of it aren’t, and we want to move on from it, and that’s okay too. Sometimes the most successful thing a relationship can do is end, but you, I think, would be really surprised and I’ve been really surprised by what can be worked through, what you can move on from to then go on and have a sexy, successful, connected, exciting, fun, cozy, delicious relationship.
So the way that I learned about this tool was in the context of having already been in a long-term relationship where there had been some ups and downs and there had been some dips and spikes in physical connection. But I also think this tool is something that’s available at any level of a relationship you’re in.
So if you’re just dating, right? A lot of times when we’re just dating we don’t need any help in the area of physical connection because everything, you know, there’s all the hormones and everything feels like, ooh. But sometimes for some of us, if we’re not very connected to our body or if we’re very nervous or if we haven’t dated in a while, it might feel intimidating or scary.
So this can also be something you could even start doing at the very beginning. Like when you’re just on dates with people or you’re just beginning a relationship, you can try on purpose to add in these six-second kisses and notice how they feel in your body. Notice what comes up.
If you have been in your relationship for a while, if you’re super physically connected, you could still try this just to like, see like, ooh, is this another piece of like super physical connection that would feel really good to both of us? Like maybe you add it in. Nothing has to be wrong for you to add in coaching tools. Sometimes everything’s really good. And then you add in coaching tools and it’s just like sprinkles on the cupcake.
But if you’re in a relationship where there’s been less physical connection than you want, this is also something you can add in to help you get reconnected to your own physical body, get reconnected to your partner, get reconnected to the relationship. So I think there are just a variety of times when this is available. And if you’re single, it’s also something you can think about for if or when you date again.
So to review, this tool is the six-second kiss. It’s exactly what it sounds like, it’s kissing for six seconds. You can do it with just your lips. You can do it with a little tongue if you want to. To me, like sometimes we just do like a little series of kisses. So it’s like kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss. But it’s like the idea that they last, the connection of the mouth on mouth lasts for six seconds. And I think you can really play around with it, have a lot of fun with it.
The impacts and results on my relationship have been huge. And even when I was prepping for coaching in Maggie’s program, and even when I was prepping for doing this podcast I was like, oh yeah, the six-second kiss, I’m going to do more of that. I mean, like a lot of things in life we have our habits, they feel really good. And then sometimes we fall out of them. But every time I remember the six-second kiss, I’m like, oh yeah, let me go do that right away because it has such a big impact on me.
It helps me feel so much more connected to my partner. And sometimes it does lead to sex. It doesn’t always lead to sex. So I think if you want something to be leading to sex, it is a good thing you can throw in there to help you feel more connected in your body, to maybe help you feel more open, to help you feel more interested if that’s what you want.
I like to just throw it in throughout the day. It’s like if I’m going to give Alex a kiss after lunch before we go back to work, it could just be a six-second kiss, even though that’s not a time when we really have the space or interest in going to bed. But sometimes like a six-second kiss had earlier in the day is maybe going to make us be thinking about, do we want to go do that later?
I think it creates more intimacy and more connection, more playfulness and more fun. And when those are high, then it’s also more likely that there’s going to be times when we are going to want to go engage in more activities together. And even if it doesn’t lead to that, I think it creates such a deeper connection, and for me, a deeper sense of satisfaction in the relationship, even if the six-second kiss is just itself without any additional activities.
Okay, y’all, that is the six-second kiss. I’m so excited for what it’s going to do for your relationship and how much it’s going to delight you and connect you to your partner and to your body and to your wildly satisfied life. And if you want to share about your experience, I would love to hear from you. You can email Kori@KoriLinn.com. You can come over to Instagram and send me a DM, tell me all about trying this tool and all the wonderful things it does for your relationship.
And if you want to explore really up-leveling your relationship in whatever way would make it more delicious and satisfying for you, that’s exactly the kind of thing we work on in one-on-one coaching. You can implement the six-second kiss and then we can coach around everything that comes up. Or maybe there are other issues in your relationship that are different than what we talked about today, and I can support you on those as well. I do have room for new one-on-one clients, and I would love to have a conversation with you about what it would be like for us to work together.
Also, I mentioned on this call that I guest coached in my friend and coach Maggie’s program, and if you would love to have me come speak to your group or coach in one of your programs, I would love to hear from you about that. I have so much fun sharing my knowledge and skills and expertise with audiences large and small.
All right, that’s what I have for y’all today. Thank you so much. Have a wonderful week and I’ll talk to you next time.
Thank you for joining me for this week’s episode of Satisfied AF. If you are ready to create a wildly delicious life and have way more fun than you ever thought possible, visit www.korilinn.com to see how I can help. See you next week.
Enjoy the Show?
Don’t miss an episode, follow the podcast on Spotify, Apple Podcasts or anywhere else you listen.
Previous
Previous
191. Capitalism Thrives on Your Dissatisfaction
Next
Next