Are you worthy of your goals?

Last month, we talked all about failure. If you missed it, be sure to scoot on over to the blog and check it out. That simple series of five blog posts alone can change your whole dang life (if you read them, and do the challenges).

Now that we’ve covered that, there’s something else I want you to know, something that is also essential for tolerating the risk of failure and going after all those goals you have, from landing a promotion with a bomb pay raise to becoming more assertive in meetings with senior stakeholders. 

Here’s what it is: you are already worthy of that goal. 

Even if you’re miles from achieving it and making it happen “in the real world.”

You’ve actually always been worthy of it. So why don’t you have it yet? Because worthiness isn’t what creates achievement. In our culture, we get this backwards a lot. We think, if I’m good enough, if I deserve something, then I’ll have it. But that’s not how it works, and it’s especially not how it works in a culture where white supremacy and patriarchy are at play (and not the only factors, of course). 

When we have big audacious goals, goals we can’t quite figure out all the steps to achieving, or even teeny tiny goals we somehow keep missing the mark on, it can be easy to think we’re doing it wrong or we’re not good enough or we’re not cut out for our goal. But that’s not what’s happening. If you haven’t achieved your goal, all that means is that you haven’t achieved your goal. Full stop. 

Here’s why this is essential knowledge: questioning our worth slows us down. It distracts from the goal itself. Instead of working on our goal, which would bring us closer to it, we spin our wheels without going anywhere, wearing our self esteem and motivation down in the process. 

As a coach and a person who believes deeply in the power of perspective, I rarely use the language that something is “wasting” time. I prefer to think it’s a scenic route or we’re learning something along the way. But spending a lot of time wondering if you’re worthy of your goal is wasting your time. So stop that shit right now. But don’t beat yourself up if you’ve been doing that. None of us know better until we do. 

What happens when you stop questioning whether or not you’re worthy of the promotion or your seat in those senior stakeholder meetings or that proposal you’ve been meaning to type up for your boss? You get to work. 

Questioning our worth can take up a huge amount of our time. Especially for womxn and marginalized groups who have been conditioned to question ourselves. Think of what you could do with all those reclaimed hours. Think of the progress you could make on your goals. Think of the impact you could make in the world. 

You are already 100% worthy. Even if you need to brush up on some skills to hit your goal. Even if your track record isn’t perfect. Even if you’re afraid. 

When we take away the question of worthiness, it just comes down to figuring out each step and taking it. And being really kind to yourself along the way. Because, you’re doing big things, and that’s a lot. 

Want some personalized support going after all those goals you’ve got?

I’d be delighted to help you out with that. Also, bonus: my coaching packages are totally virtual so as to better serve my global audience (and yes, I’ve worked with people who are not native English speakers with great success). Learn more here.