Anti-racism and burnout.

Last week, I wrote about what burnout is, why it happens, and how to solve it. Tl;dr burnout is a fuel issue, not a workload issue, and you can resolve it by shifting from negative fuel to intentional fuel. After sending my newsletter out, I listened to some podcasts and trainings by my brilliant mentor, Kara Loewentheil, and she said some stuff that made me realize there’s a bit more complexity that I want to be sure to cover, and I think it’s especially important for work in anti-racism, which many of us are doing right now and perhaps feeling some burnout about. 

I am applying the same tools I use with my clients to myself as I go about the work of finding and unlearning the racist social conditioning that I have absorbed as a white person. This is not a one and done. I’ve been doing this for a long time and I will keep doing it for a long time. Probably for the rest of my life. There’s a lot to unlearn.

You can do this, too. I strongly encourage you to learn from BIPOC (Black, Indigenous, People of Color) teachers and coaches in particular, and I will be doing that as well as the work I do on my own.

I share tons of free materials about burnout in particular, and I welcome you to use what I teach about burnout and apply it to your anti-racist efforts so that you can keep showing up to this very important work without burning out. Let’s not just burn bright right now. Let's set ourselves up well to do the work and keep doing the work.

Speaking of which, here’s what I want you to know that wasn’t fully captured in last week’s newsletter: which feelings are sustainable fuel and which feelings lead to burnout can be different from person to person, and you are the one who will know what works for you and what doesn’t. What creates burnout in one person might be ok for another. For most of my clients and for me, unintentional negative feelings lead to burnout. But only you know what is true for you. The questions to ask yourself are: how do I act when I feel this way and is that creating the results I want without depleting my emotional energy?

That being said, I want you to consider those questions across a wide timeframe. Because what I have seen (and lived) is that I can burn hot and bright with my negative feelings for a while but after a bit, I become worn out, depressed, brittle, and yes, burnt out. This is as true for me in my professional life as it is in my personal life and I think it’s highly relevant to antiracist work. No matter what you’re doing, you can fuel it however you want to, but it can be helpful to get curious with yourself about what fuel you’re currently using and whether or not it will help you keep showing up for the long haul. 

I also want to clarify that when I say to shift from negative to intentional feelings, I do not mean that our negative feelings are bad or that we shouldn't have them. They’re not bad. They’re part of being a human, and I think it’s important to feel them and to process them (more on this later). When I say to shift to intentional feelings as fuel, what I mean is choose on purpose what feeling will help you show up and do the work you want to do in a way that doesn’t deplete your emotional energy. That doesn’t mean our negative feelings go away or that we ditch them on the side of the road somewhere if they aren’t the fuel we want to use. Instead, it’s more like we are bringing them along on the road trip but we’re not letting them drive the car. 

Feelings - both positive and negative - are part of being human, but most of us were never taught how to handle them. Many of us were taught to shove them down or cover them up. Some of us (namely me) have also spent a lot of time living inside of our feelings, which is not the same and as feeling and processing them. When I say “feel and process” an emotion, what I mean is go through the emotion and get to the other side. What this looks like is getting out of your head and going into your body. Once you’re there, observe the physical sensations of the feeling. Name the emotion if you know what it is. (It’s ok if you don’t - even noticing and saying the physical sensations will work.) Do this for a few minutes. It’s ok to set a timer and just do it until the timer dings. Some feelings, like grief, may come in waves. You may feel them and move through them and then a few hours later, they might show up again. It might not be your favorite thing, but it’s part of being human, and when we allow and process the feelings, they’re generally much easier to deal with. 

Here’s what I do not mean when I say to feel and process your feelings: telling yourself the story of the feeling over and over. This is not feeling or processing. This is ruminating. It will not help you get to the other side of the feeling. Instead, it often amplifies the feeling, making it feel big and loud. That being said, you totally get to do it, if you want to. I just want to be clear that it’s not what I am recommending. 

To review: You get to use whatever fuel you want, including your negative feelings. If you want to avoid burnout, just be sure to choose something that enables you to show up and keep showing up without depleting your emotional energy long term. Negative feelings are not the enemy. Even if we don’t use them as fuel, they can still come along for the ride and we can feel and process them without getting stuck inside of them. I’ll be delighted to see you implement my teachings in your anti-racism work so that you can keep showing up without burning out along the way. In addition, I strongly encourage you to follow and support BIPOC voices. If you want to hire a Black coach, here's a wonderful directory Simone Grace Seol made that can help you find the perfect coach for you.

Do you have any questions about what I taught this week? If so, hit reply and let me know or come post on my social this Friday. I’m doing Q&As for the weekly teachings, and I’d love to answer your burning questions. 

In love and solidarity,
Kori